A Parent’s Job Description

There’s an email floating around with the picture below. It’s cute and funny (since it’s not my kids or house) but now that I have a one year old…well…it gives me pause!

Something to look forward to!

There’s also an email going around about a parent’s job description. I don’t think I ever would have appreciated this before I had my son.

JOB DESCRIPTION: “PARENT”

POSSIBLE JOB TITLES:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

OVERVIEW OF JOB:

• Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
• Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on call.
• Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
• Travel expenses not reimbursed.
• Extensive courier duties also required.

JOB RESPONSIBILITIES:
For the rest of your life:

1. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
2. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
5. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars, and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7. Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, and an embarrassment the next.
8. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
10. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
11. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

OPPORTUNITIES FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION:

None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE REQUIREMENTS:

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

There is a special compensation plan for the job: you pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

I’ve accepted this position and have the opportunity to see both sides of the seasons of child-rearing: my son is just over a year old and my stepson will be 16 this year and is coming into his teenage season in full swing. It’s been a wild ride but soon it will end and we’ll wonder where it went. I’m reminded of what the Psalmist said of children:

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate. –Psalm 127:3-5.

It’s wonderful passage because it reminds us of a few things:

1. Children are a gift from God. Wow. If only we could keep this in the front of our minds and hearts continually.
2. Children are a reward. Same thing here. Just an amazing description.
3. Children are like arrows in the hand of a warrior. Interesting description, is it not?

Psalm 127 only has five verses, three of which are about children. The first two are about building a house and a life that is rooted in the Lord. I believe the Psalm is reminding us that we have an enemy in Satan. We are reminded to raise up Godly children as a heritage and a continuance of the battle against the enemies of God which have their roots in sin. If we train up our children, they become like arrows to continue the fight against the forces of evil. We send out our children into a world that is a battleground of spiritual warfare. May we as parents train our children to find roots in Almighty God that will continue to grow deep as they grow up.

May He Increase!