Mom and Me on my birthday - 1973
Mom and my son Nicholas - Christmas 2008
Today, October 12, is my mother’s 75th birthday. I wanted to dedicate today’s post to my mother, the most important woman in my life up (until April 2001, when my wife assume that role).
Looking Back
I have nothing but fond memories of growing up as a child. I directly attribute this in large part to my mother. My mom worked for the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power until she became pregnant with me, around 1970. For the next ten years, my mom quit professional life to stay home with my sister (who arrived in 1975) and I. I’m not sure if she truly appreciates the impact of this decision. Because of her selflessness, I did not have to go to daycare and wonder when I was going to see my parents again. I know that her decision caused me to feel very secure as a child.
My folks also made the wise choice and moved us from Los Angeles to Orange County in 1975. They bought the house they still live in for $57,000. Its a two story, four-bedroom house. When they were looking at it, they couldn’t understand how they were going to afford it. Naturally, the same house would sell today for over a half-million dollars. But this was another decision that positively affected my life. I was able to grow up in a safe neighborhood where I didn’t have any fear of being attacked or shot at.
When I was 10 and my sister was five and ready to start elementary school, my mom was able to get a job as school secretary at our elementary school. Here again, was another decision that had a huge impact on our childhood. Not only did we go to school with the knowledge that anything we did would get back to her, but we stayed close to her. We remained “connected” at a time when we were still developing as young people. My mom remained at the school after I went on to high school and my sister was still there. My mom didn’t leave that job until after my sister had graduated and then went to high school herself.
At that point, my mom started working for the city they still live in. You know what I’m going to say: it was another terrific decision because she was minutes away from the house and available if we needed her. She stayed at this job until she retired at the end of 1999.
One of the most important things I credit my mom for is being tough on me. My mom didn’t let me get away with anything. She could see right through me. I believe that caused me to become the terrible liar I am today. I know my wife thanks her for that! When my mom said something, she meant it. There was no gray area. I’m so grateful to her for that.
Something else that maybe I never realized before, but she saw to it that we always ate dinner together as a family. We sat at the dinner table, TV was off, and we ate and talked. I may not even truly appreciate the magnitude of that. It was also a rare occasion that my mom didn’t cook. Even when we were older and she was working for the city and more stressed than when she worked for the school, she still managed to make dinner more often than not.
We never doubted that my mom loved us. We knew it to our core. Even when I made the decision in 1987 to walk away from God and the church, she allowed me the freedom to seek for my own answers. I know she prayed for me all the years I wandered until I made the decision to follow Christ in 2000. My mom loved me enough to place me in God’s hands and in His care.
Coming Around Full Circle
It wasn’t until my son Nicholas was born did all of the love and sacrifices come flooding into my consciousness. It wasn’t until those first sleepless nights did I truly realize how much she loved me and how much she’d give everything for my well-being. I wanted to apologize to her for every bad thing I ever did or said to her when I saw what my wife went through to bring Nicholas into the world.
One of my biggest joys was being able to–by the will and grace of God–give her a grandson. My parents had to wait nearly 38 years before being called grand-parents. I only wish it could have happened sooner, but it wasn’t part of God’s plan.
Giving Tribute and Honor
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. –Proverbs 31:25-28, 30-31.
I don’t know how much longer God will wait before He calls her home. I know that the time is getting short, but I pray that God allows her to remain with us for as long as possible and He continues to bless her with good health.
Here’s to you, mom! Happy 75th birthday!
I love you.
