Hello my friends, brothers and sisters.
I’ve been lax in posting in the past few weeks. I suppose you could say I’ve succumbed to the challenges of life of late.
I’m very well aware that we battle not against flesh and blood, but against forces that we cannot see (Ephesians 6:12). Unfortunately, too often, those forces work within families and people that we know. I’m not saying that I know people who are possessed, in the classical sense of the word, but I’m fully aware that Satan and his demons use people all the time to accomplish their evil plans.
While my blog is a very public thing, I still need to be careful with what I explain here when it comes to my family. But I also want to share things with you in the event that God has brought you here to learn something from someone else.
A verse that has manifested itself right in front of our faces is from Proverbs:
He who troubles his own house will inherit wind, and the foolish will be servant to the wisehearted. –Proverbs 11:29.
The other one is:
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. –Ephesians 6:4.
Having said this, I’m fully aware of my short-comings as a father and a stepfather. But these verses aren’t directed at my wife and I. No, my wife and I have been struggling with these verses as they relate to another parent that is part of our family.
Our situation is frustrating and disheartening, especially during those times when we forget that God is in control and sees everything. I told my wife this morning that if God is all-powerful, all-knowing, sees all things and knows the beginning and the end, then the question is: do we trust Him? Do we really trust Him?
If we do, and if we are living for Him and for His will to be done, then all we need to do is to trust Him.
Easier said, than done I know. But one thing I am finding is that the more you give to God in terms of your problems, worries, concerns, and fears, the more you realize that He is in control of everything.
Am I tap-dancing around the issue here? Yes, sort of. It would be the easiest thing in the world for me to just put the ugly story down here. I will say that blended families are challenging under the best of circumstances. My personal situation has been really great until the past few years (pre-teenager years). Not perfect, but it definitely could have been a lot worse.
What makes blended family situations intolerable at times is when the parents have two different moral compasses, and one is wise and the other is a fool. I’m blessed that I’m married to the wise one.
To the fathers out there: I’ve seen the results of not following Ephesians 6:4 first-hand. Speaking for myself, when I’ve lost my temper with my own 2.5 year old, I see how I’ve provoked him to anger. Speaking on behalf of my stepson, I’ve seen it all too often. It’s heartbreaking when you see a broken spirit; when the light has departed from one’s eyes. The heart grows cold and the spirit is crushed.
What I haven’t been able to understand is how this sort of thing can go on for almost 17 years of his life and with increasing regularity. I’m not perfect, but it pains me when my own 2.5 year old is sad or hurt especially when I’m the cause of it. But then the answer comes to me: pride. For the first time in my life, I think I’m finally getting why God hates pride.
Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. –Proverbs 16:18.
If I could, I wish I could share Proverbs 11:29 with a certain someone. But Solomon gives plenty of eye-opening, counter-instruction:
The wise of heart will receive commands, but a babbling fool will be ruined. –Proverbs 10:8.
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel. –Proverbs 12:15.
A fool’s anger is known at once, but a prudent man conceals dishonor. –Proverbs 12:16.
Leave the presence of a fool, or you will not discern words of knowledge. –Proverbs 14:7.
Excellent speech is not fitting for a fool, much less are lying lips to a prince. –Proverbs 17:7.
A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding than a hundred blows into a fool. –Proverbs 17:10.
Let a man meet a bear robbed of her cubs, rather than a fool in his folly. –Proverbs 17:12.
A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind. –Proverbs 18:2.
A fool’s lips bring strife, and his mouth calls for blows. –Proverbs 18:6.
A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are the snare of his soul. –Proverbs 18:7.
If you would, please keep my stepson in prayer. My wife and I are in a little wooden boat with him that is taking on water. As fast as we are bailing out the water and trying to plug the holes, someone keeps making new holes. Our prayer is that God gives us an iron-hulled boat and sends a great fish to swallow the one trying to sink us.
Believe me, I’d much rather have this person start listening to God’s wisdom than inheriting the wind of his own folly. But I leave that in God’s hands and His will.
May He Increase!
“My soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you.” Psalm 63:1
“Do not be afraid, dear children of God, you that have fallen into a mournful state, do not be afraid to cry out to God. I know we sometimes feel as if we must not and dare not pray. We have become so dull, so lifeless, so unworthy, that we do not expect to be heard, and feel as if it would be presumption to cry. But our heavenly Father loves to hear his children cry all day long. . . .
If you can cry out to Jesus, he will joyfully hear you. If you will give him no rest, he will give you all the rest you need. The Lord finds music in his children’s cries.
‘Oh,’ say you, ‘I would cry, but mine is such a discordant and foolish cry.’ You are the very man to cry, for your sorrow will put an emphasis into your voice. Of all the cries your children utter, that comes closest home to you which arises out of their pain and deep distress. A dying moan from a little one will pierce a mother’s heart. See, she presses the babe to her bosom! She cries, ‘My dear dying child,’ and weeps over it. You too shall be pressed to the bosom of everlasting love if you can only groan or sob or sigh.”
C. H. Spurgeon, The Treasury of the Old Testament (London, n.d.), II:663
Praying for you and your family……you are my family!!
Thank you, Ike. God bless you for your encouraging words!
Hang in there, Joe.
I’ll be praying for you guys.
This life truly is a battle. It’s very tough to live by faith alone. Very tough.
But what else are we going to do?
Steve, thank you. It’s definitely spiritual warfare, and sometimes it’s hard to stand up against it and I succumb to it. But greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world!