Today begins a new chapter in the life of my family and I. Some of you have been privy to the announcement or at least aware that change was imminent.
After being out of work for several months in 2009, I finally got a job in December 2009. It came at a crucial time as we were nearing the end of our financial rope, so to speak.
The job was never ideal. I knew this after my very first day. It was in an industry that I’m familiar with but it was a position similar to what I had left a few years prior. It was a stop-gap job. I needed work, they needed someone to do the job, and so I accepted the offer.
I was completely grateful to God for His provision. I prayed those first weeks that He would watch over me and guide me into His will. But I struggled for months wondering: was it really the right choice? Did I make the correct decision? I had other job offers in the first few months that, quite frankly, I would have preferred to take at the time, so I was confused. Did I screw up or was this nagging feeling of the devil?
With time, I realized that instead of second-guessing myself and God, I needed to just move forward with what was in front of me and ask God to help me learn the lessons He needed to teach me through it. I needed to trust. Oh, how much easier it is to say than to do.
And so, about a year later, this past December, my former boss called me to tell me that they were ready to move forward with bringing me back. We talked off and on over the past year but they just weren’t ready to bring me back. Again, the question God was asking me: “Do you trust Me?”
Yes, Lord, I do. Or, at least, I want to so badly.
In the end, I had to make a decision. As wonderful as the opportunity was–working from home again full-time–it was not without sacrifice: I had to take a large pay-cut in a time when we have debts we still need to pay off from 2009′s layoff.
Again, the question: “Do you trust Me?” Ah, I do Lord, but . . . how are we going to make it on this new salary?
“Do you trust ME?”
See, I was asking all the wrong questions. I was so focused on what I saw in front of me and my abilities. I realized that it’s about time I really take a step of faith and place ourselves into His hands. If I believe that He is my Father and cares for my family and me, then I need to trust in that. Period. Otherwise, I’m trusting in myself and my capabilities. Ouch.
In the end I realize that instead of focusing on what I’m giving up, I needed to focus on what God is blessing me with: a great team to be working with again, being home full-time with my family again, a 30-second commute, less wear-and-tear on the vehicles, and all the money saved by not eating out every day. But most importantly, it frees me up to focus on my relationship with my God and to discover what He’s calling me to.
What about you? Is 2011 bringing new challenges into your life? Share them in the comments.
May He Increase!
Few of us are tempted today to dream too big. Rather, our vision shrinks to the size of our limited experience.
If God’s best for us is still out in the future, then our past church backgrounds, experiences and patterns may be a barrier to the blessing he can give today. “The renewal of our minds” (Romans 12:2) means we are always eager for new blessing, new experiences, new patterns.
J. C. Ryle: “There is more of heaven on earth to be obtained than most Christians are aware of.”
May Jesus be real to us, more real than we have ever known he could be.
P.S. We just got a ton of snow and my eagles went home for the year. Do you have an extra room out there in sunny California???
Thanks for the comment Ike. Appreciate the thoughts.
No extra rooms at the Chavezs now that daddy is back home working full-time! But then there is always the couch.
I was hoping the Eagles were going to make it. I gave up on my Broncos, I think, in week 2. Ugh. Horrible season. But then I guess it’s all cyclical, right? You can’t be great all the time, I suppose.